Why Kink Should Be At Pride – An Interview With MisKnickers

Further reading as suggested by MisKnickers
https://victoriancollections.net.au/organisations/australian-lesbian-and-gay-archives
https://Pridecentre.org.au/tenants/australian-lesbian-and-gay-archives/
https://www.archivesfinebooks.com.au/pages/news/7/leather-love-and-literature-building-a 

Additional reading in support of kink at Pride:
https://www.them.us/story/kink-bdsm-leather-Pride

One perspective on why kink shouldn’t be allowed that sums up a lot of the common arguments against. 
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/bdsm-kink-Pride-lgbt-rights-celebrations-why-b1853859.html 

More about MisKnickers  

MisKnickers is a Melbourne-based writer and educator with over twenty years professional experience. Published in some of Australia’s major newspapers and magazines, MisK also spent time as a scriptwriter for both film and television, focusing mainly on comedy, but dabbling in soap, and sports reporting, and trying her hand porn. Her educational know-how is a unique blend of her formal training and experience as a University educator, and her own trial and error from many years of developing and running writing workshops. Currently, MisK is working with OurKink in creating an alternate education and communication hub for the kink and sex-positive communities, using Melbourne events and experts to celebrate and elucidate on a range of topics relevant to the lifestyle. 

As someone who loves variety (identifying as a gender-fluid, pansexual, switch!) her passions are always changing, but a strong sense of social justice keeps her committed to the sex-positive movement and striving for sexual and gender equality. She specialises in enabling sexual self-expression, improving communication skills, and inspiring confidence.

Podcast Transcript: 

Josie Hess (00:00):

It’s Pride month and once again, the debate has reared up about whether kink should be included at Pride.  Pride, which is in June to commemorate the 1969 Stonewall riots. Is a month long celebration and conversation about all things LGBTQIA+. My name is Josie Hess and I’m your theyfriend and local neighborhood pornographer. I wanted to get some historical perspective on this debate and examine why kink should be part of Pride? Daddy’s pups and all.

MisKnickers is part of the team at Our Kink, a Melbourne based organization that supports the kink community through education, communication, and promotional events

MisKnickers  (00:35):

I’m MisKnickers. And for many years now, probably going on around 12 years, I have worked actively in the kink community and written about kink for various publications. I’ve worked in Dungeons and, uh, helped people get to know the scene as a hostess and things like that, you know, worked at Sexpo and seen lots of different sides of the kink community, I guess.

Josie Hess (01:01):

Can you tell me about the tension between Pride and kink and what that’s been historically?

MisKnickers  (01:05):

Part of the tension is because, obviously, I mean, obviously to me anywhere, I guess, the LGB Q T I plus community, doesn’t want to be fetishized. And there’s an idea that kink is inherently fetishistic or, you know, is there to make something sexual of what Pride is about. And although Pride may have to do with the way that people might sexually identify, it’s not an inherently sexual event, it’s more to celebrate sexuality and what that means to people rather than be active sex itself, which kink is more strongly aligned with for right or wrong reasons. 

I mean, there’s also an argument from the kink community that a lot of people who participate in kink don’t do it for sexual reasons. It’s more about dynamics and relationships and things like that.

Josie Hess (02:06):

If Someone asks you why kink is important at Pride. What would you tell them?

MisKnickers  (02:10):

What should be a feature for Pride is people being proud of their sexuality. Pride should be what the people at Pride make it, if part of their identity is their leather and pups, then that should be fine and, and judgment free. And it would just be amazing if people could sort of realize that, you know, this didn’t just magically appear. I don’t know. I mean, I don’t even know if kids these days realize that, you know, people died for their ability to be able to come out. I know that it’s not perfect and that it’s still a really loaded, problematic thing.  It’s not kind of like where you’ve got it so much better than we did in the old days, but that history is important. And, uh, and to be respectful and thankful of, you know, whether these people have done it the right way or the wrong way, it’s just being respectful.

That there’s been, people who’ve come before you who made really important strides for you. I think it’s probably always going to be a really tricky argument, but I guess the people who are crying about ‘think of the children’ should be thankful that they’re living in a world where they can actually go to Pride with their children because generations and generations ago, they would have been there without their children. And the heteros would have been walking past going, oh my God, you know, this is going to destroy my children. I mean, that’s, that’s kind of what I’m left with. It would be nice that if Pride of all places, we could have many, many more empathetic humans than not. So, yeah.

Josie Hess (03:53):

So I guess if you are confronted by something that’s at Pride that maybe you don’t understand, or like the look of, instead of immediately asking for it to be removed, just have a Google or talk to your queer elders about why it is important. I asked MisKnickers to share with us some resources for further reading, which she kindly did, and I’ve included those in the show notes with this episode. Now go celebrate Pride, kinks, daddy’s pups and all.

Feature Image Credit: Josie Hess/ BDSM Rituals + Worship in Berlin